Stipulations Of Love:

I feel like no matter what I do or say you can never really love me
I feel like everytime I try to make myself a better person or get close to it you have to "figure out what you want"
I feel like you could never LOVE me but you can love me the way you do everyone else
I feel like you're trying to make yourself feel something your heart just won't feel
I feel like there are certain conditions in which you love me under
I feel like if I'm happy and there's no problems we're fine
I feel like as soon as I feel some kind of way about one little thing all your feelings towards me are up for grabs
I feel like you never really loved me from the start
I feel like you thought you did
I feel like I'm giving all I can but it doesn't matter to you
I feel broken
I feel like we did this in vain
I feel like I need you
I feel like I want you
I feel like I don't need you anymore
I feel like I want some1 to shut down my heart
I feel like I can never love again
I feel like I'm afraid to
I feel like no1 can ever mean as much to me as you do
I feel confused
I feel devastated
I feel crushed
I feel lied to
I feel betrayed
I feel worthless
I feel like crying
I feel like trying so hard to change this, to change my wrongs to do over my "rights"
I feel like I need you because I love you
I feel like dying

No first letters...

But I mean i guess we can't
This other girl means nothing to me
i mean i feel like if anything I should think you have something going on but its like
I trust you
I feel like we can't get anywhere without trust
and its like now that you don't trust me
I just don't know i mean
I just feel hurt
and its like i've actually reached a point where im tired of living with a whole heart
maybe us being apart is better than being together
I feel like you want to talk to other people...

maybe it was selfish of my that forever could actually be applied to our two names
I gess i thought about what i wanted for once in my life then what would be best for someone else
i apologize
i was wrong
you just let me know what you want
and i'll live with that decision
i gess i'll have to learn to be my own hero and be strong for myself.
it'll be hard but i haven't made it this far to just give up

at this point i really don't know if we should be together
i mean everything gets questioned really but i mean i fully trust you
but honestly i think that
whatever "shocked" you yesterday is the reason for this
it prolly was him or it coulda been him for all i kno it could be some1 i dnt kno about but i mean w/e its you're life you do what's best for you

you said that we aren't as close?
i don't see that seeing as how i tell you everything that goes on in my life
i mean when i say everything i literally mean EVERYTHING
and its like you won't share or tell anything to me unless i ask
maybe you feel the same way about me
i wouldn't know because you dnt tell me anything
so hey

one last thing
don't think
that
you can pull one of those drop me
then pick me back up the next time you feel like it...
or you "think i've learned my lesson"
that's all i'm going to say

in conclusion,
you do what's best for your life
and i'll think of something.
just be TRULY happy and that'll at least put a smile on my face.

First Letters

I've been doing some thinking and i don't know what conclusions i've come too. Its like

Like really try so hard for a negative result.
Often its just i mean its just soo hard.
Very recently its just been hard cuz like i want to be with you with all my heart.
Even all my soul every part of me doesn't want to live without you.

You make me feel invincible when we're together like nothing else even matters.
Occasionally i know i'm difficult and not be the most perfect person but i don't know.
Usually i feel like after everything we've been through that we could survive anything.